1.)They're actually fun to read,
2.)Books are a way to connect with other people,
3.)They allow you to explore new thoughts and ideas, and critically think on new and interesting topics.
4.)Slowly, and more and more, I look forward to reading them as an "break" from my own life's story.
As I perused the local Mt. Carmel Barnes, I came across "The Abstinence Teacher". It was mentioned to me by a friend before, so I read into it a little bit. Surprisingly, the plot and the themes associated with it hits close to home- Sex and religion, bluntly speaking. It's basically about a sex-ed teacher that gets ridiculed by an increasingly Christian-conservative community for something she said in class one time, that seemingly unfairly turns into a storm of chaos, changing her life.. or something like that. I read the first chapter, didn't wanna buy it just yet.. but I'm considering it. Maybe I'll come back and read the second part?
hmm.. I picked up the book to really see what it was about.. but also because my "friend" that told me about it- I place in high regards. I felt somewhat uneasy about this, but then again I did genuinely enjoy reading that first chapter. I'm not reading it just to get "closer" to... anyway.. I really did enjoy it. That's all that matters. =D
Kudos to books and reading for luxury =)
-Lloyd
hmm... one way of taking inventory of "self"..
Seven Deadly Sins Survey
Wrath
Who did you last get angry with?
-I honestly don't remember.. although I get annoyed at people a lot! haha
What is your weapon of choice?
-Brass knuckles and non-fatal guns, like beanbag shooters =). But Swords are always the dopest.
Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
-Never... unless I had to protect a loved one, even then, there's other ways.
How about the same sex?
-Heeeeeel yea..
Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
-My sis. I forget why.. I think I have this bad memory suppression thing going on? I can't seem to recall bad memories as easily as I can good ones. Good or bad? I donno...
What is your pet peeve?
-huh?
Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
-I'm inclined to say "I don't have grudges".. but being honest with myself, I have lately.. and really, it's the first time in my 23 years of living that I do.. and I don't know what to do about it.. =/ I'm usually an assertive person that likes to resolve things right away.. but I'm learning how difficult life is, and people can be sometimes.
Sloth
What is one thing you're suppose to do daily that you haven't?
-Today? I have yet to read my bible =)
What is the latest you've ever woken up?
-7pm.. cuz I slept at like 11am
Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't?
-Jonathan, Tim, Joey.. Old Jersey friends. Dare I say.. Best, Friends? Jon's a businessman now, Tim is a college guy and Joey is in Law school.
What is the last lame excuse that you made?
-They say: "Dude, what u doin right now? wanna..."
I say: "I'm running errands.."
when really, I'm just myspacin it and chillaxin! -_^
Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through?
yup. Magic Bullet baby. That thing is awesome! ^_^
How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock this morning?
I just turn the alarm off and go back to sleep, hoping I wake up within the next couple minutes.
Gluttony
What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
-yuppie? iono what that is, but Naked Juice is pretty dam expensive..
Are you a meat eater?
-Helyea!!! If there ain't no meat in the meal, best believe imma add it!!! ^_^
What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting?
-iono.. but I've been pretty faawked up before.. and I don't like it. Especially the next day. One time though, instead of waking up with a hangover, I woke up still tipsy!!! after a good night's rest!!!
Are you comfortable with your drinking and eating habits?
-Carpe Vida! Just eat/drink what you want, then run that shit off!!!
Do you enjoy candy and sweets?
-I recently started loving dark Chocolate. But all things SOUR are awesome.
Which do you prefer: sweets, salty foods or spicy foods?
-Spicy foods. all the way.
Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "lunch"?
- nope. But I look at fish, and think, "Prito"!! (meaning, fried fish) ^_^ i'm so filipino.
Greed
How many credit cards do you own?
-3 now, but gonna transfer my mastercard balance of... dun dun DUNN... $1400 at 15.99% APR (together now.. dAAAmmmm!!!) to my new 4.99%APR American Express Skyblue rewards card =). Wise choice? I think so.
If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?
-invest half. use rest to aleviate family's major financial problems.
Would you rather be rich or famous?
-rich. I don't care about the limelight. Although I am pretty dam famous. haha! I'm sooo keeding!! my gArsh.
Would you accept a boring job if it meant that you would make megabucks?
-Yes. Only temporariliy though. Gotta sacrifice right? It's called WORK for a reason people.
Pride
What's one thing that you have done that you're most proud of?
-Where I am right now is what I'm most proud of: working my way through school to be whatever I wanna be, and my parents are happy cuz of that, not pressuring. Yup. I'm pretty blessed =D
What's one thing you have done that your parents are most proud of?
-Get into UCSD.
What thing would you like to accomplish late in your life?
-Become a Physician. Either now, or eventually. And... I just want to be happy. Actually, that comes first =)
Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
-Only when I give it my all.. I'm usually the bEST at things I put FULL effort in.. Pride? yeaaa... so bite me then! haha!
Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
-haha... too often. But now I've suppressed that attitude knowing how it feels to get shot down when you realize that.. you ain't hott $hit like you thought. It's called humility.
Have you ever cheated to get a better score?
-I don't remember.. probably when I was still in grade school >_<
What did you do today that you're proud of?
-I saved an old lady's cat, while helping her cross the street. I don't know! Nothing yet.. I am planning on running my usual 3 miles later today... we'll see how that goes.
Lust
How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies, family, strippers, locker rooms)?
-Not enough! haha I'm soo playing.. seriously, not much. you think I'd give you a number? here? Hah!
Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a person of your chosen sex during a normal conversation?
-Can't say I have.. if i'm compelled to look there, I actively fixate on FACE. Yea, it takes effort.
What is your favorite body part of a person of your gender choice?
-Legs. Then hands, then... you know.......... EYES! u pervert ^_^
Have you ever had sexual encounters (including kissing/making out) with multiple persons?
-no
Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
-no
Envy
What item of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
-Their Laptops. I don't have a laptop =(
Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?
-Those people in the Del Mar estates nearby.. baller ass houses like wHoa!!! craazy...
If you could be anyone who existed in the world, who would you be?
-Brad Pitt. He must have the life!! haha
Have you ever been cheated on?
- yes. Time, and God heals all.
Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
-Honest? I have.. but I'm happy with myself.
What deadly sin...
Do you do the most often?
-Lust and sloth.
Do you do the least often?
-Pride.
Is your favorite to act on?
-gluttony.. and lust.
-Proverbs 19:21
also,
-Matthew 6:33
Yet... I can't help but think of this as a conundrum..
Man desires many things, but the Lord will have his way in the end regardless- But stay in the path of rightousness, and the Lord will grant you your longings..
rather than;
Stay in the path of rightousness, and the Lord will grant you your longings- But despite what you desire, the Lord will have his way in the end regardless..
I choose to think of the previous way.. A man can wish all he wants.. as badly as he wants.. for his heart's desire.. he'll stay on the path of rightousness, for the Lord's promise Mat.6:33. Man's wants might be granted, might not, but the Lord will have his way in the end.. .. Here's where I've come to a great realization for myself.. If a man is truly in the path of rightousness (God's will), he is placing his all into putting God FIRST.. selfless of his own worldly desires. The (Many things man desires)Proverbs 19:21 are probably man's worldly desires, might not be.. but regardless.. the counsel of the Lord shall stand. It's best to stick with the counsel of the Lord.. and not worry about getting what we "want".. only then will we receive the true joy, what we really wanted.. that God has planned for us.. God knows what we actually "want" more than we do.. It's simple as that.
To let go completely.. is a thing so hard for some people to do, including me.. yet these realizations are what brings about that mindset.. and it's just right.. to feel so free when you leave it all up to God.. completely. His promises will never fail.. and I'm faithful to that, God wants us to hold him accountable for his promises.
With this comes the realization that.. I'm actually growing as I desire to.. a new rush of freedom is what I feel.. a break.. rather a breakaway from the kind of thoughts that engulfed my life recently up until just earlier today.. I feel.. I realize now how disconnected from the Lord I actually was, and now, how I am determined to mold myself into the man I want to be.. and more importantly.. the man God wants me to be.
-Lloyd
...
I really hate to say this.. she's not who I thought. Even though I've prayed, and followed the omens.. it all just ends tragically.. here.. now.. it's over. I don't hate her, I can't. I know there is still that same girl that I met in her, uncorrupted with greedy love, not covered by deceit and vainfullness. I still have hope in her.
... if you ever come across reading this one day.. I don't hate you. If the day comes, and you're happily married, and are willing to put this behind you and not think of me as a "bad word", I'll be here. And.. if you're still not happy, and you are ready to come out of this vicious cycle you've placed yourself in, I'm here. I'm listening. I'll be your friend.
-Lloyd
